I know you

I know you. 

You are sadness. 

You are the sadness that I forget is still there. 

You are grief. 

You are the grief that turns my hands to ice, constricts my chest, shortens my breath, clouds my mind and stares unblinking through my eyes. 

You are the grief that while I speak and smile and continue my conversation, threatens to claim me.

You are the sadness that is lodged awkwardly in my solar plexus that wakes me up at night, yet has the power to paralyse me by day. 

You are the grief that lingers and trails behind what should be straightforward conversations.

You are the grief that I acknowledge, but by whom I will not be defined. 

I have stood strong inspite of you and have learnt strength because of you. 

Through your pain, I have learnt compassion. 

Yes, I have learnt strength, courage and wisdom. 

When your tears come and they are not wanted, I have learnt how to calmly conquer you and put you in your place. 

Grief, you are a part of who I have become. We must learn to walk together respectfully. 

But I will be your master grief, you cannot have me. 

You do not own me. 

It is me that owns you.

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