How do you have your sex?

Excuse me, can I ask you,
how you have your sex?
I don't think that we're doing it right
and it's making me feel quite vexed.

I'd like to conduct a survey
to uncover your toppest tips
and find out if we're using them right
(you know, all our jiggly bits!)

I didn't pay much attention
to biology back in school
which really is quite unfortunate
as now I can't have a clue at all.

For if I were a genuine 'sexpert',
I'm sure it wouldn't be such a struggle
to pop another human out
without getting in such a muddle.

Everyone else seems to manage it.
It's not a silly saga for the rest.
So, what have we been doing wrong?
We've been trying our very best.

Maybe it's all about the angles
or perhaps the temperature.
Should we perform a special ritual
before each jiggy-jiggy adventure?

We use the correct biological bits.
I've double checked, so I am sure
and from the umpteen books I've read,
we've run out of options to explore!

So reader, that's why I need your help,
to explain this confounded mystery.
Answers on a postcard please.
It would mean an awful a lot to me.
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