The costly gamble

I’d really like success this time, and not do this again.
It’s not as bad as the first two rounds, but still it is a pain!

The pain I feel is littoral! The drugs can make me sick,
but I’ve mastered the injections now. I can jab them in quite quick.

The headaches vary day by day, they’re actually not too bad.
But my body feels quite alien and my hormones drive me mad!

My ovaries are super sore, they jangle when I walk.
Now the size of oranges, I can feel them when I talk!

The prodding and the poking is fine. I just laugh and crack a joke.
So many scans and tests have been done by so many medic folk.

In fact, my womb is famous now. It should be given its own show.
I’ll set it up a Facebook page for you all to get to know!

Narcolepsy is an awful thing, I’ve not quite developed that!
But it’s true that I now fall asleep at the proverbial drop of a hat!

This tiredness and the frequent sweats I can just about endure,
it’s my marriage that concerns me most, the pressure’s been quite hard-core!

We deal with it in different ways, but we try not to let it scare us.
There’s the finance and the emotions too. The tight rope is so precarious.

So can we really cope with this? Will the embryos implant?
There’s a tide of fear that begins to rise. No, I’m not strong enough, I can’t.

“Come on girl, where is your inner strength, your fighting spirit, your zen?”
I give myself a good peptalk to perk me up again.

Will it work or will it fail? We’re not encouraged by the statistics!
Place your bets at Ladbrokes now, it’s 1000 to 1 for triplets!

The odd thing is that some exclaim, “IVF, oh how exciting!”
It’s not how I’d describe this trial, for me it’s a little frightening!

I never know quite what to say to people who are this glib,
making light of a difficult personal quest that costs 7000 quid!

“Screw you and your unhelpful words!” I retort in my head,
“exciting is a JetSki ride or cruising around the med!”

My body hurts, my brain is mashed and my husband’s a nervous wreck,
but it’s a process that we must go through and we must keep these fears in check.

If the outcome turns out positive and the dice rolls in our favour,
I’ll tell our kids how much they cost at the merest hint of poor behaviour!

On a serious note, the joy they’ll bring will be like nothing we’ve ever known;
A brand-new chapter in our lives with treasured children of our own.


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